The reason why perfect marriages are so rare

Shifting Dynamics in Relationships and the Redefinition of Marriage

In contemporary society, the stigmas associated with divorce and singlehood have gradually faded, giving way to a more accepting and understanding social landscape. While the primary reasons for divorce are often attributed to incompatibility, household labor imbalances, and financial strains, a recent survey conducted by wedding information companies OnlyYou and Bierenae unearthed unexpected motivations among single individuals seeking re-entry into marriage.

The survey, involving 556 single men and women, unveiled that 28.4% of male respondents had contemplated divorce in the face of their spouse's professional success. This was followed by concerns over compatibility (25.2%), physical attractiveness (20.9%), and an active lifestyle (17.9%).

Among single female respondents, the leading reasons for considering divorce were overly refined manners (29.1%), followed by their spouse's career achievements (24.8%), compatibility issues (20.1%), and physical attractiveness (17.4%).

While these findings may appear counterintuitive, a deeper examination of the survey's additional explanations reveals a degree of underlying logic. A spouse's professional triumphs can lead to heightened self-esteem, potentially creating feelings of inadequacy in the other partner. Similarly, overly refined manners, initially perceived as charming, can raise insecurities about the spouse's attention being directed elsewhere.

Paradoxically, qualities that were considered strengths during partner selection can transform into perceived shortcomings within the context of marriage. The absence of trust, faith, and respect can magnify these positive traits into powerful catalysts for conflict.

As French writer Alain de Botton aptly observed, "The reason why perfect marriages are so rare is that we enter marriage with our reason and manage our marriages with our feelings."

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