Offer a sincere apology

 Offer a sincere apology.

One of the most challenging tasks in life is convincing oneself. Even though we know we should forgive those we dislike, it's hard to find a place in our hearts to say, "It's my fault." When the process of self-justification becomes strong, relationships often reach a breaking point.

I, too, have experienced betrayal from a close friend, causing our relationship to sour. While I thought I could find relief after organizing my feelings, it wasn't easy, especially with someone I had to see frequently. Misunderstandings are bound to clear up with time, but if there's no misunderstanding, resolving the issue becomes more difficult. Despite receiving an apology and discussing hurt feelings at a drinking gathering, the relationship only worsened.

Why did such a thing happen...

"As it turns out, the past is never really gone. In fact, it isn't even past." -William Faulkner, Author -

According to Professor Jung Jae-seung and his student Kim Ho's "Cool Apology," three conditions must be met for a proper apology: sincerity from the heart, specificity regarding the wrongdoing, and a plan to prevent recurrence. These components are necessary for the other party to accept the apology. Often, people append reasons such as "but" or "actually" to rationalize themselves, claiming they didn't intend harm or attaching conditions. This approach leads to worsening relationships rather than genuine apologies.

The timing of an apology is crucial. John Kador, in "Effective Apology," suggests apologizing immediately for less serious incidents, while allowing time for the other party to calm down in more serious cases.

Medical accidents are frequent in hospitals. Recent studies show that most medical malpractice lawsuits result from doctors being rude. Michigan University Hospital operates an apology program called "Tell the Truth." Since implementing the program, the number of lawsuits has steadily decreased, from 262 cases in 2001 to 83 cases in 2007.

"Satisfied customers tell three friends, Angry customers tell 3,000." - Pete Blackshaw -

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